Riot!

Stephanie Is ..

2008-11-19T00:21:00.000-08:00

writing a resume!

Never had I thought this day would come. And exaggerating I am.

xx, Steph.

Tardigras

2008-11-15T15:31:00.000-08:00

Inspirational quote of the day: We can never turn back the pages of time, though we may wish to relieve a happy moment or say goodbye just one last time, we never can, because the sands of time continue to fall, and we can't turn the hourglass over.

Yesterday = Reunion.
1. High school friends
2. High school's yearly fair
3. High school teachers and crews
4. High school's food
5. High school's marching band
6. High school's basketball team and the coach
7. And what we call in Indonesia, NGOBOK.

Ah, memories.

xx, Steph

Pictures: First Masterpiece

2008-11-13T18:13:00.001-08:00

Third Time's A Charm

2008-11-11T17:59:00.001-08:00

Inspirational quote of the day: You don't know how to feel happy until you have learned how to feel sad. -THE best friend of mine. And congratulations for your new job, did I promise you that I would buy you some plant? Will the good luck bamboos do? (If they have one here)

First, I just wanted to say it out loud that I'm so happy because my masterpiece turned out to be so perfect! All the hard work, all the efforts, and all the craziness to put it together finally have been paid off. So my best friend asked me if I could take a picture of white roses, and she wanted it as her early birthday present, because her birthday is in Jan. I took the picture like, a month or two ago, and I perfected it a few days ago. So when she asked me to hang out last Monday, I decided to give it to her that day, so I printed it out 8" x 10", I put it inside a black frame, and oh my F-ing God, it turned out to be so perfect! When I gave it to her, I felt like I didn't wanna give it to her, like I wanted to keep it for myself. So then the next day I printed out another one for me, and put it inside the same black frame. It's so gonna be on my wall.

Random thought that just entered my mind: throw some hidden Mickeys in my room. Well, maybe I'll throw some hidden "S. Wibi"s in my room. The first one is easy to find: look at those white roses!

Another thing that just entered my mind: the relation between Inova and breast cancer (if there's any). My dad and I are on our way to a meeting (I just came along) and his driver (the same old stupid one that I hated so much, FYI) is driving us using my dad's Inova, and I just started thinking about what my aunt said the other day. She has breast cancer and she was like, "Maybe it's because I drive Inova a lot. Your mom uses that car a lot too, even though less than I do so that's why her situation isn't as bad as mine." The chemicals that Inova produces = breast cancer, is it?

I went to church last Sunday, and as I walked in, I saw my former best friend/big sister (previously mentioned) walking towards me. She was like, trying to figure out who was this girl she was looking at, while I was thinking about what I should do or what I should say. But then I waved. As we got closer she noticed me and she was like, "Oh, it's you!" No cold war like I thought it would be, but my mind kept saying "oh shoot, oh shoot, oh shoot." Then I've been thinking about "third time's a charm," but I don't know, I don't think it's gonna happen from me. I just, I don't know, I mean, if we did make up, there's gonna be something that would never be the same.

xx, Steph.

Currently listening to:
Alphabeat - Fantastic Six

Pictures: 15 South

2008-11-08T19:18:00.000-08:00

My Tears Dry On Their Own

2008-11-08T07:52:00.000-08:00

Inspirational quote of the day: A good name will shine forever. I apologize because it's so not related to what I'm about to bitchin!

Yesterday was, well, it was not pretty. The only time I felt okay was when I was with a good friend of mine, sitting in a cafe, trying to figure out our plan for New Year's. If I had a friend who was willing to go and if I didn't have a curfew, I would have gone to her gig. She was my bandmate and she is the only one that is still in that path. On my way home, it was trafficy and I was listening to this podcast. "You know what I find kinda odd, I mean other than dog shows and people who can eat with their feet? People who fight over something instead of fighting for something." And then she started talking about the Beastie Boys, fighting over boys and stuff, and that got me thinking. Stuck in traffic, raining outside, listening to a podcast, brain's working, and hey, where's my cup of tea? So I had been having an awkward situation with my best friend, it was basically nothing but Ms. Smarty Pants (me) made it worse by acting like a F-ing asshole. But after listening to this podcast, I felt like I had to end that. So I did, I ended the cold war, but still, I felt like still I had 999 elephants in my fridge. The truth is, it hasn't been easy for me being back here. I felt like I was too old for a chance, like I couldn't adapt just like a flick of my fingers. One of the reasons under my "Home, negative" list felt real to me, even though I kept telling myself, "You're frickin exaggerating, Steph." But honestly, I felt like a stranger in an old town. And it's not like I know this old town well enough, oh well, the navigator works, right? Even though it was a little off. And I do hope my navigator works too and points me to the right direction.

It was good seeing everybody this week. I can't believe I made copies of the "proof" to Gina but I forgot to bring it! Plan for revenge was made during that day, not a success though because the target was not targeted. Stu, as Gina would say. Looking forward to lunch tomorrow to celebrate my mom's birthday last Wednesday, all her siblings and my cousins will be there. I met them, but tomorrow means talk show. Topic: his tragedy that happened recently, and really, no one knows until now! After that, Dasz, maybe? My best friend found it odd that I hadn't been bitchin about Poke Sushi ever since I got here. I was like, "I'm over it!"

xx, Steph.

Currently listening to:
Rain outside.

Don't You Just Love Your Past?

2008-11-05T17:12:00.000-08:00

Inspirational quote of the day: The only things that you regret in your life are the things that you did not do. -Eh, from the movie Mama's Boy. Okay I got up at 4 a.m. yesterday (yes, jet lagged) so I watched the movie. But that movie is so Mr. Woodcock. Lame.

Anyways, what I have been doing is that I have been busy moving in. I have been cleaning up my closet, and, you know, when you clean up your closet, don't expect nothing else unless some stuff that remind you about your past. But the funny thing is that, what I have found,remind me of that time way back in the days. Elementary and middle school. Stuff about my first boyfriend (and they call it puppy love). Okay so I dated this guy for like, almost three years give or take, on/off, and we started dating when I was about 11 I guess (oh I guess they'll never know). I found these pictures that I took when I first met him, he was so cute (how a young heart really feels)! And I have no idea at all why is it that when I was in elementary school, i liked exchanging diary so much (and just why I love him so). I found bits and pieces of paper, but still I haven't found the diaries [notice that it is plural]. I think the only person (from my side, not from his) besides me that has seen & read them is one of my best friends in high school. And of course she used it against me (to mock me and stuff), well yeah, what do you expect?

I was in Hong Kong when an old friend from middle school sent me a message. We did not go to the same high school and I just did not hear from her at all like that was it. But when I read her message, I was like, like I was back in middle school. The way she called me. But then I found my year book and looked her up, and, hee hee, I also looked up "the blast from the past" that I still have a crush on until now! What I would do to have him! Argh if only he went to the U.S. instead of that stupid ******! Sorry, no offense, the emotion's talking. And I looked up all my classmates from my last year in middle school, and started wondering where they are now. This guy my chairmate went to medical school, and earlier this year he went to another town to be a doctor or something, I don't remember. This other guy that I talked to a lot last year but not so much this year, where has he been. This another guy that was always being bullied but still he smiled. One of my best friends, where has she been. This other girl, being lost in space after we graduated. And my other chairmate, where is she? Oh wait, Gina Adams, I'm going out with her today. But oh my F-ing God, I missed middle school so much! And if you're wondering about if I missed my elementary school, well, pretty much the people from my elementary school went to the same middle school.

xx, Steph.

Currently listening to:
My dad's steps in my future entertainment room.

So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday

2008-11-02T15:55:00.000-08:00

Inspirational quote of the day: When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. -Helen Keller?

I am now at Hong Kong International Airport, sitting and eating this delicious shrimp dumpling (I have been craving dim sum, but thanks to somebody who promised me to take me to that dim sum place down in Long Beach but did not!), and I now officially have lost track of time. All I know is that my flight leaves at 9:30 but I have no idea what time is it now in Hong Kong, maybe about 8? So I think I'm good. Finally escaped from a 15-hour flight, stuck in some small space with both of my legs dead (a couple times!), but thank God I did have some sleep (and thanks to a certain brand) and that I did not need to take some Advil for my back. Yes, my back is doing fine, I must say I'm surprised. And it's like I can't get enough of sitting, I got up and a few minutes later I wanted to sit and eat something. Wanted a Coke but they gave me Lemon Tea, and hey, it's super cloudy outside. What could go wrong?

Last night wasn't that brutal as I thought it would be, and "see you next summer" did not put a smile on my face at all. Don't you just hate it when you wanted to run away and you finally did, things got a little better? But in my case, I wouldn't call it "run away," it's more like a, "I decided to move back home because I didn't know what I would do here." Besides, it's home and that's where I wanna be. And the good thing is that I do have a home in LA too. So I know I can always come back if things didn't work out. But hey, I had fun during my final days. Bowling was definitely fun, although it gave me more pain that I did not need (I got enough from playing tennis and racquetball the other day). And now I know that playing one game of Uno can last more than an hour. And my going-away party, wow, good food, delicious dessert! It was just perfect. But I hated it when it started raining outside but I couldn't take a nap because I had to finish packing! Finally had sukiyaki even though some things went wrong, but it was still good! I'll miss you LA, Long Beach, and all of you guys!

xx, Steph.

Currently listening to:
Some Airport Music.

Pictures: Las Vegas

2008-10-30T17:05:00.000-07:00

What happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas.

Lost And Found

2008-10-30T16:41:00.000-07:00

Spotted: Sam is back on the field, playing it.

And somebody just spotted her on the way back from another field, that is, playing tennis and racquetball. I guess drinking Monster a minute before you start working out did not do you good, did it, Sam? And too bad you did not have your knee support either. See you in your sweet dreams in ten.

xx, Sam.
Sam watches too much TV, you know that.

Pictures: Zion

2008-10-29T23:34:00.000-07:00

First camping trip!

Too Good To Be True

2008-10-28T23:12:00.000-07:00

Inspirational quote of the day: After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box. It's an Italian saying.

So, there was this girl who I used to call big sister. Notice that the clue was: "used to." I was surprised that she suddenly came up to me and started talking to me, like nothing had ever happened and that we were back to being friends after we had been off for quite some time. It was really good, I had missed talking to her, and it was nice to have her back. But, POOF, it was just a frickin dream! I swear I was so pissed off when I got up this morning and realized that it was just a dream. And the first thing that I thought was, "oh well, it was too good to be true." But was it? I got a good sign this morning, and I'm wishing that we could make up. Put more effort to it. Third time's a charm, ha?

Random Stuff. So I'm down in Long Beach and unfortunately my cellphone was almost dead and I left my charger up in LA, so I turned my cellphone off. When I got home, I grabbed my other phone with my Matrix card in it, turned it on, and I got two text messages. Weird, since when people text me to that number when I'm in LA? The first message was so random, it was from my ex-boyfriend, and it was blank, and sent on Oct 28. Maybe he was just checking to see if I was home, but the weird thing is that, he disappeared a long time ago. Suddenly he wanted to know where I was? Eh, random. The second message was from my friend, she thought I was home.

Went to TGIF for dinner with Mark, Matt, Truong, and Arnaut. I hadn't been there for over a month! Couple of things that I'll miss about TGIF: Tanya, Lave, David, mojito, and happy hour. Matt & I were gonna stay for happy hour because I wanted to get an appetizer (and maybe a glass of mojito hee hee) but I was too full so we just went home afterwards. Gonna go to dinner tomorrow night with another ex-boyfriend but we haven't decided where we're going. What is it that I need to have for the last time?

Tick tock, time is almost up, the night is about to end.
xx, Steph.

Currently listening to:
Guns N' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine

Somewhere I Belong

2008-10-28T00:15:00.000-07:00

Inspirational quote of the day: our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better. -Sydney J. Harris.

Well, maybe not so much for an inspiration, but that is exactly what I feel right now. Counting down, 5 days until I say goodbye to everyone, and the funny thing is that, I never have thought that I would feel sad about leaving this place. Sure, I miss home so bad, but the past couple months have been great. Am I actually ready for a big change? I said goodbye to a friend last week and I felt so sad about it. The feeling got worse when she told me that she was sad too. And one thing that I keep thinking about is that, how did I deal with all the goodbyes and the big change when I left home? All I knew is that it wasn't easy and it took me a long time to settle down. But in the end I settled down. So I guess I have to believe that I'll be just fine. After all, change is not always bad, is it? Even though I was miserable for a while here, I know it did me some good. All the worries that I have had have just been answered. I'll be fine, I know I'll be fine. I could face a big chance, I believe I could. And even if I fell, well, I would like to think that I'm stronger now.

Let me introduce you to someone: my best friend. She is the one that I keep bitchin to about how I'm not ready to leave, and all other stuff of course. But life goes on, she says. Not just mine, but also everyone else's. Stop looking at your plane ticket, but get up and spend some time with those who you are not gonna see until hopefully next summer. Go look for the happiness behind the disappointment. Thanks a lot, I am keeping my words that I just gave you like 30 minutes ago.

xx, Steph.

Currently listening to:
The Kooks - Do You Wanna

Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

2008-10-27T18:39:00.000-07:00

Inspirational quote of the day: life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are gonna get. -Forrest Gump, d'uh!

What is wrong with me, it was the third time in a week that I woke up without remembering what happened the night before. It was such a blur, the words that I spoke, the words that other people spoke, the things that I did and the things that other people did. The-best-and-the-worst feelings are mixed into one, with the best comes first and the worst comes last. The excitement that came from doing Jagerbomb, the bad feeling that came from the hangover. All the truth that I had been trying to keep to myself and all the truth that other people had been trying to keep to themselves, got thrown outta the window. The feeling that you cannot handle the truth. The feeling where you try so hard not to judge other people, and the feeling of being afraid that other people would judge you.

UGLY.
xx, Steph.

Currently listening to:
Fergie - Glamorous